Ordinary Days, Well.....Sometimes: Happy 14th Birthday Ayden

Ayden,

Things are changing between us (just as they are supposed to change), because you are growing up. It is the sweetest and most difficult transition for a mommy (or at least this one). But, you should know that your daddy and I are incredibly proud of the young man you have become. You are smart. You are confident, but humble; a leader, but a team player, too. You are a good friend, a caring grandson, a hard worker, and a young man of faith. You aren’t afraid to stand up for what you believe. You are funny, compassionate, sincere, loving, and kind. I don’t know exactly what you will do or who you will be four years from now, but I know that the path you are charting is GOOD. I know that you will be a blessing to the world around you, and I know that you will reap many rewards in return.

I believe in you, Ayden.

But I am afraid for you, too.

It’s not that I don’t trust you or that I expect you to stumble at a fork in the road. It’s just that I want to protect you, but I can’t always save you in the ways that I once could. When you were younger, I could stop you before you ran into the street or grab your hand before you touched something hot. I could redirect you before you risked just a little too much. I could steer you toward the people whom I trusted to keep you safe.

Now you are in middle school and fixing to move on to high school...you are meeting new people, people I don’t know, and your world is expanding beyond the fences I created. You are facing problems that aren’t always visible to me and decisions that can change the trajectory of your life. You are maturing, managing your own self, becoming your own amazing person, and it is heart-wrenching, incredible, agonizing, and glorious all at the same time.

There are so many lessons that I want to share with you ……lessons to tuck deep inside your soul, so that they are not just things you know but things that are as much a part of who you are as your lungs, your freckles, and your bones. I want to talk to you about how “greatness” is so much more than what this world suggests....About how failure is a part of living a full and meaningful life....About how the people you spend time with will influence you, just as one peppermint candy will flavor all the other candies in the dish....About how you will always find what you are looking for, so look for the good, and about how happiness is a choice that you can make each and every day, whatever your circumstances.... About how the problems on the surface are rarely the problems that need fixed, so invest in scalpels rather than bandaids if you want to find your peace.

Maybe these are lessons for fifteen or sixteen. I’m not sure, but let me teach you this.

I once believed that moths that flutter around our porch lights were attracted by the glow, but scientists say that this is not true. They believe that moths navigate their course in the darkness of night by calibrating their flight against the position of the moon. The moonlight is the moth’s touchstone, the constant that allows it to orient itself and fly in a straight line. This is effective as long as the moth is not distracted from the moonlight, but the moth’s best instincts have been sabotaged by the glitter and gleam of artificial lights. A moth that flies too close to a lightbulb or a flame becomes disoriented and loses track of the moon. Its straight path deteriorates into a never-ending circle as it expends all of its energy, unable to get back on track. Eventually, the lost moth becomes exhausted, often landing on and dying with its artificial moon.

When a moth loses sight of what will safely and steadily guide it and when it is distracted by something that is closer and brighter at that moment, it inadvertently creates its own demise.

Whatever you do, Ayden, do not lose sight of your touchstones. They will guide you safely through the darkness until the sun rises once again. Don’t exhaust yourself or lose your way by following something that shines just a little bit brighter than what you know to be true.

I try not to worry, but it’s just a part of my job as a mommy. I fret about the test you have today and the meeting you have tomorrow, the college and career you will choose four years from now, and the wife you will marry in a decade or more…..but I am confident that you will be ready for all of those things when they come.

I worry more that you will become distracted, that you will forget that this home, that our love for you, will always be a place where you can be safe and real in a world that will test you with its artificial glow. This will always be the place where your truth can be rediscovered, where your bucket can be refilled, and where your spirit can find rest, even when you are all grown up. This will always, always, always be your moon.

You are someone special and your daddy and I are so lucky to have the privilege to walk the journey of your life with you. I cannot wait to see the man, the husband, and the father that you will become.