Raegan,
Today you
are 6 years old. How did that happen?
It seems
like just yesterday we found out you’d be coming soon and now you’ve
become a beautiful little girl.
Have I told you lately how much I
love you? How proud I am of you? How amazed I am by your love, kindness,
strength and brilliance (apparently, eventually, and seriously are your favorite words)? How worried I am for your tenderness, fragility and
soft heart? You delight and frustrate me on a daily basis and I can’t imagine
life without you. It’s hard for me to put all these feelings down, to find the
words that adequately convey exactly how I feel about you and what you mean to
me, but I’ll try.
I’m proud of how strong you are, both
physically and mentally. You have grown more this year I think than any other
and continue to excel at just about everything you try. You are doing so well
in school. You have a love for learning that I hope you always keep, and one of
my favorite things is watching you struggle with a challenge, persist until
that switch flips, the lightbulb comes on and you get it. You are the same way
with many things in life, whether it’s cartwheels and monkey bars or reading
and math. Keep pushing forward, keep rising to those challenges and know that
you have what it takes to overcome each and every one of them.
As proud as I am of you, I also worry
so much (sorry, you come by this honestly). The same tenderness that I love in
your relationship with your brother leaves you so vulnerable in dealing with
others who may not treat you so gently. You’re just starting out in school and
it can be a difficult and unkind place. I try so hard to fill your bucket…to
boost that inner strength that helps you realize that the things that other
people say and do have absolutely no reflection on you. To show you how to
objectively view the different reasons that people behave the way they do.
I try so hard to encourage you not to be afraid. Don’t be afraid to say hi to
someone you don’t know. Don’t be afraid to join the game. Don’t be afraid to
try something new. Don’t be afraid to speak up. Don’t be afraid. I say this
from a place of experience and regret. You will miss out on so much by letting
fear make your choices. You are strong. You are complete. Don’t ever say yes or
no to something because you are afraid. Say yes because you want to. Say no
because it’s the right choice. Take all the time you need to make a decision.
Jump in with both feet on a whim sometimes, but don’t ever, ever let fear
decide your path. You have everything you need to survive and thrive. Get out
there and live!
It has been a big year full of a lot
of changes and ups and downs. I hope this new year brings so many more of those
special moments!
I hope you know how much I love you
too. I hope you understand that even though you challenge me every minute of
every day, I wouldn’t have it any other way. It shows me that you are fierce.
That you think for yourself and don’t simply accept what is put before you. You
make my life more difficult than I could imagine, but I sleep better knowing
that when push comes to shove, you can handle anything thrown your way. From
your very first breath, all the way through today you have shown me that you
are not only a survivor, you are a fighter, an overcomer, a champion. I am in
awe of all the obstacles you have conquered in the few short years you’ve been
with us and how your cheerful demeanor and positive outlook continues unfazed.
You are an inspiration to your Daddy and I, and so many others.
